Wow. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to this before, but I just bought a power converter from the "hyaku en" shop for my laptop today.
Oh, in case you don't know what I'm talking about, let me fill you in:
I'm in Japan.
I started typing out a detailed explanation of everything I've done since I've been here, but decided that there was something else I wanted to talk about instead. If you want more minute details of my life that I'm trying to get used to, I would love to talk to you about it. Skype is probably the best way to reach me (Skype: robert.bolgeo) but here, in this medium, there's something else I want to express.
When I first landed in Japan, I knew that I would have to take the train to get to the head office for the company from whom I'm renting a room. I brought my iPhone with me to use as a wifi device in Japan, so that I would be able to get around and wouldn't get too terribly lost, but that didn't work. For some reason, my phone wouldn't work on the wifi connection in japan, so I was in the airport trying to figure out where I was supposed to go, and maybe, if I'd slept at all the night before, or even on the flight (but I couldn't) I would have been able to better reason, but in the state I was in (in the country I was in) I had a mini panic.
Something I've mostly forgotten about, but remember in times like this, is that when I was a kid, shortly after I moved to Fairview from Memphis, I suffered from minor anxiety issues. I mean, it wasn't anything serious, I was never put on medication for it, but sometimes when I'd go out around large groups of people or sometimes randomly I would have mini anxiety attacks. Sometimes I still feel that way, like, the first time I went to Disney Land, and the first time I went to a concert in LA, but for the most part I'm really easy going about things, and get excited by the prospect of doing something new. Still, the fact remains that I can be overtaken by anxiety at times, and its something I've spent a lot of time and prayer dealing with so I know a little better how to handle it now. I was on the verge when I wasn't sure how I would get from the airport to my new home, but, at the same time, I felt like everything was okay.
Something I read today: "The Spirit of glory and of God rests on you"
When I read this I thought about how much that Spirit weighs, I thought about, so to speak, the weight of glory (which I shouldn't reference seeing as though I haven't read that book yet). Thinking now, about my near anxiety attack in the airport I can't help but remember that weird weight of the counter-anxiety, that feeling that everything was okay that was as foreign to me as I was to this country. So when I stumbled across this phrase in my reading I couldn't shake it. Only now, I'm thinking about what this means moving forward. What does this mean as I try and make an impact here?
Something else I read today: Foundation and salvation
Already, I've gone through so many things here that maybe I should be freaking out about, but I feel the sturdiness of my foundation (which is Jesus Christ) and the strength of what has been built on it (which would be the prayers and support of friends and family). I think in the next few weeks I'm going to see some of the fire that refines. I hope that when it comes I'm not too stubborn, or ignorant, or lazy to see what it burns and seek to repair it properly.
Before I close out this entry I want to write down a thought I had shortly after leaving the airport. After my almost-anxiety in the airport, I decided to take whatever train was going towards the city I knew I had to get to in order to pick up my keys. I was so excited to take my first train ride in Japan, I almost didn't care if it got me where I was supposed to go or not. However, by the time I got on the train, it was already dark outside, or at least, it was getting darker. The trains are lit inside, though, and they stay pretty bright, so the darker it gets outside the brighter the inside seems to get, until you almost can't see outside anymore because the light reflects the inside of the train, making windows more like mirrors. There are two things I thought about this.
First, I want to be like the train that is so bright on the inside that the darkness outside is nearly invisible. I don't have much to say about this, except I'm afraid I'll never have the sort of illumination necessary. I'm afraid I'll try to hold on to some of that darkness out of a perverse sense of self-preservation, making the light seem dimmer.
Second, as I looked at the window turned mirror I thought about how strange it was to be looking out towards Japan but to only be able to see myself. I was so clearly superimposed over all the buildings that it was as though they barely existed. So I thought about all the ways I've already been doing that. How have I been taking Japan away and putting myself in its place? The answers are humiliating; humbling. I don't remember if I've mentioned this story before, but even if I have, this seems like a good spot to reiterate it (and I'm not too worried about redundancy): When I was an orientation leader for Biola some of us took a spiritual retreat in order to prepare ourselves for the new students and in order to center ourselves before we had to give so much in service. While we were there we met with a student from the Institute of Spiritual Formation who taught us an interesting way to pray. She taught us about the idea of mantras. The idea is to create a name for God, one that has a lot of meaning to you, then to express a need. My mantra is something I've been trying to live ever since the moment I made it that day. Sometimes I'll go a while without saying it, but I don't think I'll ever forget it, because I don't think I'll ever stop needing it:
"Good Father, teach me to serve."
That's been my ardent prayer since I arrived. I came here to serve, but sometimes I don't know how to do that. Sometimes I can't look past my face in the mirror long enough to realize that it wasn't a mirror at all but a window; a window looking out on people who need to feel the Spirit of glory and of God rest, people who need foundations and building materials, people who need to be served.
So pray with me.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
Jump on 3. 1... 2..
I am less than a week away from leaving my family and my home in Tennessee to begin the first leg of my trip to Tokyo. It is normally my habit to spend a lot of time thinking about the things I'm going to write before I post them here, but I don't feel like I can do that this time. I've been struggling to update because for the last month I've been trying to avoid the thoughts necessary to produce something that even passes as coherent work.
I've been bungee jumping once in my life. I love the memory and I loved the reasons I had to do it (it's a fun story and I can tell anyone who wants to know about it), but actually doing the thing is a different beast entirely. It was one of those crane style bungee jumps, so I had to climb a ton of stairs to get to the top, and I remember nearly running up the first 4 or 5 flights because I was so excited to jump, but as I started getting higher, closer to the end of the stairs, I started feeling a little more heavy, a little less anxious to get to the top and a little more to get back to the bottom. At the first step of the last flight of stairs the real doubts started coming; I kept seeing images of cords splitting, of knots slipping, I couldn't help but imagine the ground rushing towards me and not being able to stop. At a certain point I had to pretty much turn my brain off and use my eyes as cameras, nothing more than tools to record a memory that I could hold onto later, because if I tried to interpret what I was seeing myself do I wouldn't have been able to do it.
Obviously, bungee jumping is not something that is directly correspondent to moving to Japan, while I have similar feelings and I'm coping with fear in a similar way, they are very different things and the fears I have about moving to Japan are very different from the ones I had about free falling from the top of a metal crane. There are a lot of things to be afraid of, from a more outside perspective:
I've never truly lived alone before, and in Japan I will very much be alone. The house I'm renting a room in has space for other tenants, but there's no telling when people will live with me or for how long. What kind of dangers are there in living independently?
I don't know Japanese. I've been learning, but I'm pretty sure my eighteen month old nephew speaks better than I can in Japanese (and he's just now saying "bye-bye" consistently). Languages are hard to learn, especially if they are as different as Japanese from English.
I don't know what my diet will look like. I don't know what kinds of foods will be available or how expensive food is. I mean, I have an idea, but it's hard to realize this sort of thing until it's happening or has happened.
I've never taught English before. What if I can't hack it? What if I'm a bad teacher?
Even if I recognize these things as real, though, they don't really scare me. What really scares me is the ever present, most daunting fear of all:
What if I'm not good enough for this?
What I mean is, what if I'm not right for this? What if I'm not supposed to do this? What if I'm wrong about all of this? What if I'm a disappointment? What if God doesn't want to use me the way I want him to?
These fears are the hardest to combat, these can't be settled with planning, with reasoning or through any other natural mental or emotional process. These are the sort of spiritual questions that have to be dealt with in an unnatural manner. I've never really understood why Jacob had to wrestle an Angel at Peniel, but I've also never really had to question it. Please understand here that I believe that God is searchable and that discernment is important in faith. I don't mean that I've never questioned why Jacob had to wrestle an angel, I mean that I've never questioned it's necessity. I know that may seem like a strange and somewhat paradoxical thought process, that is, to be clueless and understanding simultaneously, but that is, I think, the only possible state when it comes to most things, but especially when it comes to theology. It's finding the right balance of the two sides that becomes the biggest struggle, though, and right now I'm on the more helpless side of that stick.
I'm at the last flight of stairs now. I've had enough reason, enough confirmation, encouragement, reassurances to make it this far. I'm to the point where all I can see is the cord breaking, no matter how irrational the thought is. I know it won't, but. But what if it does?
I used to have this sort of mantra when I was younger and cared much less about rationale. I used to say it to myself for practice, just to remember it, whether I needed to hear it or not: "If you're afraid to do a thing; eff it. Do it anyway." Later, to sort of hone in on what I was really getting at with that mantra I started reciting 2 Timothy 1:7. Power/Strength, Love and Sound Mind/Self Control are the ingredients for courage, the thing I fear I lack the most, and so wrestle for the most ardently.
Right now I'm running on the fumes from all of the events of the past year that have led up to what's happening in the next week combined with a steady stream of reminding myself of the spirit God has given me. I know it's enough to get to the top of the stairs, and enough that I'll be able to jump off, eyes open, watching the pavement rush to meet me only to gently bounce back up and safely disengage, fear subsided.
I just wish that I could close my eyes and imagine that cord without it snapping under pressure. So pray for me!
I've been bungee jumping once in my life. I love the memory and I loved the reasons I had to do it (it's a fun story and I can tell anyone who wants to know about it), but actually doing the thing is a different beast entirely. It was one of those crane style bungee jumps, so I had to climb a ton of stairs to get to the top, and I remember nearly running up the first 4 or 5 flights because I was so excited to jump, but as I started getting higher, closer to the end of the stairs, I started feeling a little more heavy, a little less anxious to get to the top and a little more to get back to the bottom. At the first step of the last flight of stairs the real doubts started coming; I kept seeing images of cords splitting, of knots slipping, I couldn't help but imagine the ground rushing towards me and not being able to stop. At a certain point I had to pretty much turn my brain off and use my eyes as cameras, nothing more than tools to record a memory that I could hold onto later, because if I tried to interpret what I was seeing myself do I wouldn't have been able to do it.
Obviously, bungee jumping is not something that is directly correspondent to moving to Japan, while I have similar feelings and I'm coping with fear in a similar way, they are very different things and the fears I have about moving to Japan are very different from the ones I had about free falling from the top of a metal crane. There are a lot of things to be afraid of, from a more outside perspective:
I've never truly lived alone before, and in Japan I will very much be alone. The house I'm renting a room in has space for other tenants, but there's no telling when people will live with me or for how long. What kind of dangers are there in living independently?
I don't know Japanese. I've been learning, but I'm pretty sure my eighteen month old nephew speaks better than I can in Japanese (and he's just now saying "bye-bye" consistently). Languages are hard to learn, especially if they are as different as Japanese from English.
I don't know what my diet will look like. I don't know what kinds of foods will be available or how expensive food is. I mean, I have an idea, but it's hard to realize this sort of thing until it's happening or has happened.
I've never taught English before. What if I can't hack it? What if I'm a bad teacher?
Even if I recognize these things as real, though, they don't really scare me. What really scares me is the ever present, most daunting fear of all:
What if I'm not good enough for this?
What I mean is, what if I'm not right for this? What if I'm not supposed to do this? What if I'm wrong about all of this? What if I'm a disappointment? What if God doesn't want to use me the way I want him to?
These fears are the hardest to combat, these can't be settled with planning, with reasoning or through any other natural mental or emotional process. These are the sort of spiritual questions that have to be dealt with in an unnatural manner. I've never really understood why Jacob had to wrestle an Angel at Peniel, but I've also never really had to question it. Please understand here that I believe that God is searchable and that discernment is important in faith. I don't mean that I've never questioned why Jacob had to wrestle an angel, I mean that I've never questioned it's necessity. I know that may seem like a strange and somewhat paradoxical thought process, that is, to be clueless and understanding simultaneously, but that is, I think, the only possible state when it comes to most things, but especially when it comes to theology. It's finding the right balance of the two sides that becomes the biggest struggle, though, and right now I'm on the more helpless side of that stick.
I'm at the last flight of stairs now. I've had enough reason, enough confirmation, encouragement, reassurances to make it this far. I'm to the point where all I can see is the cord breaking, no matter how irrational the thought is. I know it won't, but. But what if it does?
I used to have this sort of mantra when I was younger and cared much less about rationale. I used to say it to myself for practice, just to remember it, whether I needed to hear it or not: "If you're afraid to do a thing; eff it. Do it anyway." Later, to sort of hone in on what I was really getting at with that mantra I started reciting 2 Timothy 1:7. Power/Strength, Love and Sound Mind/Self Control are the ingredients for courage, the thing I fear I lack the most, and so wrestle for the most ardently.
Right now I'm running on the fumes from all of the events of the past year that have led up to what's happening in the next week combined with a steady stream of reminding myself of the spirit God has given me. I know it's enough to get to the top of the stairs, and enough that I'll be able to jump off, eyes open, watching the pavement rush to meet me only to gently bounce back up and safely disengage, fear subsided.
I just wish that I could close my eyes and imagine that cord without it snapping under pressure. So pray for me!
Monday, October 31, 2011
A (Not so) Brief Update
It's been a while since I've updated. I've been meaning to, seeing as though there have been several reasons for updating both in regards to my upcoming journey and in regards to my continuing journey (that's a euphemism for life(or maybe a dysphemism, depending on how you look at journeys.)) In any case, I'll start with how things are going with Japan, and in order to get the story straight I'll start at the beginning:
About a year ago I contacted an organization that goes by the name of ITPS about travelling to Japan with their help. My understanding at the time was that they would be in communication with schools, churches and the immigration bureau, working in my favor so that when the time came for me to leave I would have a job, a ministry and a visa. I must give pause here because I don't want anyone reading to think that I am displeased with ITPS, on the contrary, I am more disappointed in myself. It seems that I had fallen prey to the zeitgeist of my generation, something that I've talked to my older friends about on several occasions, and something I've done my best to fight, which is an enormous sense of entitlement. I felt as though the steps to leaving the country should all have been taken for me, while I just waited for it to happen. In the last six months, though, I realized that ITPS wasn't an organization that would take all the steps for me, but one that would walk alongside me as I took those steps myself. They have been diligently praying for me, helping me gather and keep support and have supplied me with resources to learn about Japan, Japanese culture, missions and christian discipline and spirituality. While I haven't used these resources to the extent of their full potential still, I have appreciated very much their accessibility.
In lieu of the staff at ITPS finding me a job in Japan I began to look for one for myself. I searched for two or three months, and applied to fifteen or twenty different positions all over the country before I finally heard back from one company, the Gaba Corporation. After extensive research into the company, the locations of their learning studios, and the nature of their employment (as well as much prayer into the situation) I decided to take a job with them. The job I took is in northern Tokyo, though there is still the option to transfer to Osaka after a few months. Since taking a job with Gaba, I have been contacting churches and ministries in the area near to where I'll most probably be living. This has been the most blessed, or blessing part of the whole endeavor. I have been finding contacts in the most unlikely places. It seems that all of my friends have friends with friends or family who are working in a ministry or who have worked in a ministry in Japan, and they all have information and encouraging words for me. I've met people at weddings, in restaurants and churches, and there's people I've never met at all, but have been in contact with via facebook or skype.
Right now I'm about two months out from leaving for Japan. I visited the Japanese Consulate here in Nashville in order to receive my entrance visa, meaning that I have 90 days from today to get myself out of the US and into Japan. My job as an English instructor starts on January 6, and I've been in communication with an apartment building to reserve a (super-cheap) dormitory-style apartment for a year. My contract with Gaba is for one year and so is my visa, however I'm open to where God will lead me after this first year.
I appreciate all of the support that everyone has given me, both monetarily and through prayer and encouragement. This period of waiting and wondering has been trying, but I can already see, even in the midst of it, how necessary this time was. In the last few months I have wrestled with things that I should have been dealing with for a long time. I have prayed in earnest, and while I am still struggling, I can see so much clearer God's plans for me and my life. I have, for the first time in a long time, a sense of clarity and throughout the last few months (especially the last few weeks) I have had to come to a realization of my worth in Christ. I've had to think of myself (and the people around me) in terms of ontology instead of in terms of function (thank you Dr. Thoennes!) These are things I wouldn't have been ready to deal with outside of this special, trying time of waiting. Thank you again, for everyone who has prayed for me. I have been humbled by your love.
This post is already waxing prolix, so I'll end it there. Thank you for travelling with me, and as always thank you for praying for me.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I'm going to Japan.
I don't have much time to write this, but I just wanted to update anyone keeping up with my plans for Japan.
The other day I received an email from the Gaba corporation (the one I was interviewing with) offering me a job in the Kanto region of Japan. Kanto is where Tokyo is located. I was hoping to go to Osaka because I have contacts with a church there, and Tokyo is a very long way from Osaka. But, I have several friends and acquaintances that have lived and worked in this area, many of whom I trust would send me good information as to where to go to church, or the people to meet in order to be involved with several different ministry opportunities. So after a lot of prayer and serious consideration I decided to take the job.
I'm going to Japan.
In the next few months I'm responsible to get a visa, find housing, and set my life up so that I can live on literally the other side of the world.
So pray for me!
The other day I received an email from the Gaba corporation (the one I was interviewing with) offering me a job in the Kanto region of Japan. Kanto is where Tokyo is located. I was hoping to go to Osaka because I have contacts with a church there, and Tokyo is a very long way from Osaka. But, I have several friends and acquaintances that have lived and worked in this area, many of whom I trust would send me good information as to where to go to church, or the people to meet in order to be involved with several different ministry opportunities. So after a lot of prayer and serious consideration I decided to take the job.
I'm going to Japan.
In the next few months I'm responsible to get a visa, find housing, and set my life up so that I can live on literally the other side of the world.
So pray for me!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Pottery 101
I arrived in Nashville, Tennessee earlier this evening. No, I'm not in Japan yet. I'm still waiting on a work visa. Well, I'm still waiting on a job, then, once I have one of those I'll be waiting about 3 months for a visa. In the meantime, though, I'm going to look for work while I spend time with my family in good ole TN.
I will miss my home in southern California (homes, really, as I've been wandering from house to house the last two or three months). I'll miss my friends, as well. I've had the privilege of getting to know many wonderful, godly people over the last five years in CA. I've been blessed by friends pouring into my life, teaching me how to love God and walk with Christ. In recent months these friends have been a great source of support. One of my friends acknowledged, through that spirit of support, this sentiment:
"Oh my gosh, Robert, this truly is a trying time in your life."
My friend is right. This is a trying time. I think, though, with everything happening in rapid succession like it is, that I'm beyond the point of feeling tried. For a while I felt stretched, I felt nervous to the point of exhaustion. I was really starting to feel attacked. Now, though, it's a little different.
I want to begin this next part by saying that I love Tennessee. I love my families (biological and church) and my friends very much. That's why it was so difficult to think about coming back here a month ago. I am no closer now to getting to Japan now than I was last time I was here and asked for support. I have nothing to show to the people who have been praying for me. I have no progress to report. I don't have a job still and I'm starting to lose heart for the job I interviewed for last week. I care very much about the people here, and I don't want to be a source of disappointment for them. It is very difficult to see coming home to Fairview as anything other than a failure at this time in my life.
Like I said earlier though, things are not as dark as they may seem. I have what looks like naive hope or foolish optimism for the future. I always have. I blame my parents for teaching me that no matter what happens God will be there with me. I've never really been afraid for the future. For me it's always been the present, the here and now, where cowardice has shown its ugly head most frequently. Normally I get so caught up with how crummy my current circumstances look that I forget to look at it from the bigger perspective.
I flew through a storm cloud today in the plane ride. The thing about flying through clouds that I've always found interesting is that from the ground, and even from the air above them, or flying by next to one, clouds look so beautiful and peaceful. When you're inside a cloud, though, your visibility is almost nothing, I could barely see the tip of the wing of our plane; all I could see was a shroud of semi-transparent gray. It was not the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, nor was it the most peaceful, it was a storm cloud so we hit a lot of turbulence. I sleep a lot on planes, but for some reason I was awake from before we entered the storm until after we left the clouds on the other side. The point I'm trying to make by using the illustration of the clouds is this: Sometimes we enter periods of time in life that look like they're going to be breezy, peaceful, even, but once we get into the thick of it we realize that maybe things aren't quite as soft and fluffy as they looked earlier. What I realized, passing through that cloud, was that for me, it is easy to think about the other side. You know, the return of the fluffy perspective, when you can see the sun shining on the back of the cloud you just came through. In retrospect the gray of the inner cloud looks white, the turbulence makes shapes like faces and elephants. It's hard to see those things from the middle, though.
This is what I started thinking about today on the plane: How can I appreciate what God is doing with me while I pass through storm clouds? My working theory, birthed from being stretched to a point beyond any reasonable amount of elasticity for a human, is something I'm calling the clay theory. This is an old analogy, as old as the old testament (which is pretty stinking old). The idea is that I can be clay. Clay doesn't have a definitive shape. I've been thinking of being stretched, to this point, as akin to the way a rubber band is stretched. You pull on it, and you can make neat shapes like the Eiffel Tower, or mini slingshots, but when you quit stretching a rubber band, unless you've stretched itself too far and snap the thing, it returns to its original shape. That's the way I've been thinking about being stretched as a person, or more specifically as a follower of Christ, but I realized that maybe I'm not being stretched and pulled just to snap back to an older form. That's why clay is the proper analogy, or more specifically, since I've done very little work with clay, play dough. When you stretch out play dough, or change it's shape, it doesn't snap back. It continues to be what it is. It doesn't snap if you change it's shape too much, it just sort of retains a new shape.
If my spiritual life and my understanding of Christ were elastic, like a rubber band, I think I would have snapped in twain by now. I guess it is a good thing that we were already told to be like clay. I guess now it's just a matter of letting the potter do his thing.
So Pray for me.
I will miss my home in southern California (homes, really, as I've been wandering from house to house the last two or three months). I'll miss my friends, as well. I've had the privilege of getting to know many wonderful, godly people over the last five years in CA. I've been blessed by friends pouring into my life, teaching me how to love God and walk with Christ. In recent months these friends have been a great source of support. One of my friends acknowledged, through that spirit of support, this sentiment:
"Oh my gosh, Robert, this truly is a trying time in your life."
My friend is right. This is a trying time. I think, though, with everything happening in rapid succession like it is, that I'm beyond the point of feeling tried. For a while I felt stretched, I felt nervous to the point of exhaustion. I was really starting to feel attacked. Now, though, it's a little different.
I want to begin this next part by saying that I love Tennessee. I love my families (biological and church) and my friends very much. That's why it was so difficult to think about coming back here a month ago. I am no closer now to getting to Japan now than I was last time I was here and asked for support. I have nothing to show to the people who have been praying for me. I have no progress to report. I don't have a job still and I'm starting to lose heart for the job I interviewed for last week. I care very much about the people here, and I don't want to be a source of disappointment for them. It is very difficult to see coming home to Fairview as anything other than a failure at this time in my life.
Like I said earlier though, things are not as dark as they may seem. I have what looks like naive hope or foolish optimism for the future. I always have. I blame my parents for teaching me that no matter what happens God will be there with me. I've never really been afraid for the future. For me it's always been the present, the here and now, where cowardice has shown its ugly head most frequently. Normally I get so caught up with how crummy my current circumstances look that I forget to look at it from the bigger perspective.
I flew through a storm cloud today in the plane ride. The thing about flying through clouds that I've always found interesting is that from the ground, and even from the air above them, or flying by next to one, clouds look so beautiful and peaceful. When you're inside a cloud, though, your visibility is almost nothing, I could barely see the tip of the wing of our plane; all I could see was a shroud of semi-transparent gray. It was not the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, nor was it the most peaceful, it was a storm cloud so we hit a lot of turbulence. I sleep a lot on planes, but for some reason I was awake from before we entered the storm until after we left the clouds on the other side. The point I'm trying to make by using the illustration of the clouds is this: Sometimes we enter periods of time in life that look like they're going to be breezy, peaceful, even, but once we get into the thick of it we realize that maybe things aren't quite as soft and fluffy as they looked earlier. What I realized, passing through that cloud, was that for me, it is easy to think about the other side. You know, the return of the fluffy perspective, when you can see the sun shining on the back of the cloud you just came through. In retrospect the gray of the inner cloud looks white, the turbulence makes shapes like faces and elephants. It's hard to see those things from the middle, though.
This is what I started thinking about today on the plane: How can I appreciate what God is doing with me while I pass through storm clouds? My working theory, birthed from being stretched to a point beyond any reasonable amount of elasticity for a human, is something I'm calling the clay theory. This is an old analogy, as old as the old testament (which is pretty stinking old). The idea is that I can be clay. Clay doesn't have a definitive shape. I've been thinking of being stretched, to this point, as akin to the way a rubber band is stretched. You pull on it, and you can make neat shapes like the Eiffel Tower, or mini slingshots, but when you quit stretching a rubber band, unless you've stretched itself too far and snap the thing, it returns to its original shape. That's the way I've been thinking about being stretched as a person, or more specifically as a follower of Christ, but I realized that maybe I'm not being stretched and pulled just to snap back to an older form. That's why clay is the proper analogy, or more specifically, since I've done very little work with clay, play dough. When you stretch out play dough, or change it's shape, it doesn't snap back. It continues to be what it is. It doesn't snap if you change it's shape too much, it just sort of retains a new shape.
If my spiritual life and my understanding of Christ were elastic, like a rubber band, I think I would have snapped in twain by now. I guess it is a good thing that we were already told to be like clay. I guess now it's just a matter of letting the potter do his thing.
So Pray for me.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Interview number 2!
I'm about 15 minutes away from my second interview with the Gaba Corporation in Nagoya, Japan. I am so nervous that I really may puke. After this interview there is a short deliberation process and then, hopefully within the week, I'll know whether they want to hire me or not.
This job is not exactly what I was looking for to make it to Japan, it is in Nagoya, which is a one-hour, 100$ trip, each way, from Osaka, which is where the church I have previously been connected with is located. However, they are offering to sponsor my work visa which means in just over three months I could be in the country, and the relative area of where I feel God sending me. Not only that, but the corporation has told me that after three or four months I may transfer to one of their studios in Osaka Japan.
The other concern I have with this job is that my classes are not guaranteed. I send the company times when I can work and they send me back a list of clients that can meet me during those times. I am responsible to work for approx. 23 hrs/wk like this. I'm a bit worried that I may not be able to find enough work at first, but throughout this process, God has been teaching me the importance of trust - repeatedly showing me sparrows. Why should I doubt his power in this?
All in all, this isn't exactly the way I thought I would be going to Japan, but then again, this journey has been nothing but outside of what I expected. If it wasn't, how would God get all of the glory?
So Pray for me!
This job is not exactly what I was looking for to make it to Japan, it is in Nagoya, which is a one-hour, 100$ trip, each way, from Osaka, which is where the church I have previously been connected with is located. However, they are offering to sponsor my work visa which means in just over three months I could be in the country, and the relative area of where I feel God sending me. Not only that, but the corporation has told me that after three or four months I may transfer to one of their studios in Osaka Japan.
The other concern I have with this job is that my classes are not guaranteed. I send the company times when I can work and they send me back a list of clients that can meet me during those times. I am responsible to work for approx. 23 hrs/wk like this. I'm a bit worried that I may not be able to find enough work at first, but throughout this process, God has been teaching me the importance of trust - repeatedly showing me sparrows. Why should I doubt his power in this?
All in all, this isn't exactly the way I thought I would be going to Japan, but then again, this journey has been nothing but outside of what I expected. If it wasn't, how would God get all of the glory?
So Pray for me!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Will work for Christ.
Man, it has been way too long since I posted an update. It hasn't been for lack of things going on, oh, on the contrary, there has been goings on, and it hasn't really been for lack of time (I've had plenty). So, no excuses, I must apologize for my truancy from blogging, but I commit to post more frequently.
I just finished filling out another application for another job. I think I've filled out more than twenty of these things in the last few days. It is difficult to find places that will sponsor an American to come teach so late in the year, though, because the visa application process is much more arduous for US citizens than people from other English speaking nations. I have found a few that are willing to sponsor, but I figure it's probably not a bad idea to put applications into the companies that aren't, you know, just in case. Plus it feels like I'm doing something, which brings me to the point of the post:
God gives us work to bless us.
Ask my parents, ask my friends, I guarantee the shock of my recent revelation is jaw-dropping. If there is one person that complains about working more than I do, I have not met them. However, due to my current state of unemployment I have started thinking about the concept of work and productivity. God doesn't need me to work. He doesn't need me to do anything. If he did then he wouldn't be self-sufficient and wouldn't be a God worthy of worship or devotion. However, God created man to work. I mean, look at Adam. First thing God does after his creation is put him in the garden to work (ESV Gen. 2:15). So I have to conclude that God gave us work as a blessing.
Now I'm just praying that God will bless me. So Pray for me!
I just finished filling out another application for another job. I think I've filled out more than twenty of these things in the last few days. It is difficult to find places that will sponsor an American to come teach so late in the year, though, because the visa application process is much more arduous for US citizens than people from other English speaking nations. I have found a few that are willing to sponsor, but I figure it's probably not a bad idea to put applications into the companies that aren't, you know, just in case. Plus it feels like I'm doing something, which brings me to the point of the post:
God gives us work to bless us.
Ask my parents, ask my friends, I guarantee the shock of my recent revelation is jaw-dropping. If there is one person that complains about working more than I do, I have not met them. However, due to my current state of unemployment I have started thinking about the concept of work and productivity. God doesn't need me to work. He doesn't need me to do anything. If he did then he wouldn't be self-sufficient and wouldn't be a God worthy of worship or devotion. However, God created man to work. I mean, look at Adam. First thing God does after his creation is put him in the garden to work (ESV Gen. 2:15). So I have to conclude that God gave us work as a blessing.
Now I'm just praying that God will bless me. So Pray for me!
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